but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Just high enough for therapy.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
