it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
