A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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