id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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