i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
