I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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