Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
