I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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