I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
