Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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