believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Randomize