The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
