No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
I don't deserve a penis
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
