I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
