I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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