I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
