tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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