God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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