So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
