he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize