we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
BRING THE BAGELS
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
He's on the porch naked. Help.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
