I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
