As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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