I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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