WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
this hospital has no fireball
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
