I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
