Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
