We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
