capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
