Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize