Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Randomize
