I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Randomize
