I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
