who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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