My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
