I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
This is classic penis vs brain.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
