I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
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