You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
