Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize