omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
