I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
