Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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