she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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