Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
