i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
