You're a womanizer and a bitch.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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