what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
