Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
