Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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