Kiss
Puke
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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