guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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