how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
