For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
