I bet he comes in French.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
