I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize