i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize