So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Randomize
