peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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