Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I am never drinking with the goths again.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize