He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
