sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Randomize
