Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
