Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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