There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
