so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
