i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Randomize
