i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
