this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
