I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Randomize
