Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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