so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
