If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
How external is "for external use only"?
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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