No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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