My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
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