Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
