do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
